So its getting near midnight & I just have had two days full of family and friends. Tonight was my going away gathering at the Carmichael’s. For those of you who live here in Paulding County, the name doesn’t just sound familiar. Everyone knows the Carmichael’s. The Lord graciously placed me in the path of the Carmichael’s in the fourth grade. When I am at their house I feel warmth and am filled with many amazing memories. Tonight was full of laughter, and great memories, and just a reminder to me of how blessed I truly am. Reality is starting to hit me that , all I know and hold dear is going to be miles away. The comfort of people truly loving you through some of the hardest moments in life. People that love you through your mistakes, who have laughed and held you during the hardest moments. Every person and child there tonight was someone I loved, and have shared some of the best moments of my life with. I can’t imagine life without them. Although they are only five hours a way, and email or text message within seconds. And God forbid I actually pick up the phone, to hear their sweet voice. This is an ending of a VERY long and beautiful chapter of my life. I am so amazed and God’s protection, provision, and constant hand in my life. I AM SO GRATEFUL and HUMBLED by the adventurous life I have lived, and the people who have journeyed with me. So my tears are both sad and happy. I think tonight is one of those clinging to HIM, with everything I have. I need to be reminded that the steps I am about to take, although they involve sacrifice… it is all for Him. His Glory. His Fame. To be known throughout the earth. And I am to desire NO EARTHLY thing more than HIM. I want to desire HIM above all else, as much as I fail at that. I know that nothing else satisfies.
May Update:
I am going through a ton of motions & emotions right now. Kind of like when I was little and I would ride the waves with my dad. I knew he was always there to catch me, and I always had so much fun! He always wanted me to learn on my own. Show me from a distance and be independent. You never knew when a wave was coming, and the aftermath of saltwater in my eyes, and in my nose, and a gulp that I accidentally swallowed was never fun. Yet I would do it all over again and again, and to this day still love riding the waves.
I can’t think of a better picture of my life. Knowing how my parents have raised me and what the Lord has taught me. I know they are at a distance, and of course the Lord is right there with me. And it is such an exciting time and yet there is a part of me that is scared.
I can’t believe I am ending a season of my life, at work, in my hometown, and at my church here. I am finishing the last few boxes of packing and it seems all unreal. I am very excited about moving and seeing what God has before me, and yet I am scared and honestly anxious about the the things that will be hard and just the unknown.
I am living in an adorable apartment with two amazing girls. Kim, I have known for about 10 years, and Alicia was on my staff last summer and we slept in the same room. So even though we just met a year ago, we got to know each other well. I can’t wait to share an apartment with those lovely ladies, and open our home to others!
I am going to work for a family owned daycare and I am excited about a new work adventure as well as just getting to know the families and my new coworkers. I am praying that the Lord will use me in that workplace and that this would be a great bridge for River Church into the community.
I can’t wait to start plugging into River Church and the community. My title there is connections, and praying that the LORD just gives us a great vision for how that all works! River Church has already started a core meeting bi-weekly, and a cook out bi-weekly. So I can’t wait to be apart of that.
Also in August we will start bi-weekly pre launch service’s so that is going to be awesome! So if you know anyone in the Charleston area tell them to contact us: www.riverchurch.com
Charleston, for such a time as this….
WOW! It seems to good to be true and just right. I can’t wait to live near the ocean, a lifelong dream of mine. I am moving near some of the best old friends, and have already made a bunch of new ones. I already have a job, and an apartment, next if I could only fall in love. Ha! J I don’t think I will have time for that!
Georgia, my sweet southern comfort! I will always have Georgia on my mind. This is where my roots are and although I have traveled, I always love coming home. There is so much love here, and will miss greatly. Yet I know I can’t let those things hold me back, from what the Lord has prepared.
I am just praying that He would continue to do more than I could ask, think, or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
Beloved
Last weekend I met up with a dear sweet old friend. On my way to meet her I had been praying and asking the Lord to show me, speak to me, and I just poured out many questions before Him. In those few hours the Lord used her to speak so much truth over me, I don’t think she realized how much she did. She also blessed me by gifting me with the new Kari Jobe CD. I was so happy because it had a song on the CD that I had been really wanting to download. I didn’t realize how much I was going to love the CD, and listen to it non stop. I pulled the lyrics out and started reading as I listened. I love doing that. The title to a song caught my eyes, ” My beloved “….the name the Lord continues to whisper to me. This summer I got a tattoo, the word “beloved” in hebrew. I started reading and tears filled up in my eyes, it was a song to me. The Lord knew that day I needed for him to Lavish his love on me, I was so struggling with my realization of sin in my life. I was struggling with who I was, and he just sang over me….
You’re My Beloved
You’re My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love
You’re Beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me
Under My mercy
Come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you
My child
You’re Beautiful to Me
So Beautiful to Me
I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me
I’ll breathe My life inside of you
I’ll bear you up on eagle’s wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I’ll take you to My quiet waters
I’ll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole
You’re My beloved
You’re My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love
The last week I have spent babysitting, for a few days a little boy from the school I work at. I have babysat for him and his brother on occasion. This weekend, I am watching four boys who I would consider like my nephews, I have known them their whole lives. I am at that stage in life, that most of my friends are married and have children. I realize when I spend 24/7 with children what a sacrifice it is to really be a dedicated parent who really invests in their children. Since I already work at a school, and spend 7 hours a day with children, I KNOW what a difference it makes in children’s lives…. to have a parents who really pour into their children.
I remember being a little girl, and playing teacher, and mom everyday after school with other little girls in my neighborhood. I have never known any other desire but to be a wife and mom. I couldn’t picture my life turning out any other way.
I realize as I put other peoples kids to bed, pray with them, snuggle, cook for them, and take them to the movies, read to them…that the desire to be a mom has done nothing but grow to a longing over the years.
I honestly would have never imagined I would be my age, single and without children. Yet I know, I know God ordained each one of my days. I do wonder if and when, I think I grow tired of hearing everyone tell me what a great wife, and mom I will be and yet both of those areas of my life are empty.
So I guess I was just wanting to share my moment of ache with the world. What is your ache today?
So a few days later, here I am still waiting. Not just on one thing but a few, and truly what I am waiting on is direction, from the one who directs my steps. In many different areas of my life I have just been praying, asking the Lord to lead me. What I am coming to is that I am waiting for Him, these are the moments I want to climb in my Heavenly Father’s lap and just be held.
I am currently replaying over and over the song by Phil Wickham… I will wait for you, this is the cry of my soul…
Lyrics to I Will Wait For You There :
I will wait for You there
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a grace to hold onto now
I’m calling for You
I will wait for You there
far from the world and it’s violence
It left broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I’m calling for You
And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah’s in the morning
Hallelujah’s in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life
I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I’m calling for you
……………….
Beautiful isn’t it. If you happen to read this whatever you are going through yourself. I encourage you to meet Him, on your knees, on your face. Rest in Him, allow Him to hold you.
Wait.
Various reasons brings you to this place, of insanity. The unknown, fear, and yet safety. Here in the middle of this crazy place, I wait in HIS arms, I lay at HIS feet, knowing that ultimately HIS word says he knows each one of my days, he has ordained them. His word says he has immeasurably more than I can ask or think or imagine. His word says that he withholds no good thing from me. So I am safe (safety doesn’t mean that I am physically safe, but that God is sovereign and I can trust Him)…..I am secure that he knows what is best for me, that he directs my steps… and those who lead me.
So now that we know I am in a crazy safe place lets talk about the fact that I struggle, that I wish I wasn’t here, I just want to move in this direction or that, that I am so impatient, that I can be so restless and that I just want to know how I can wait and honor God. I have been thinking lately there is no way I would be credited with righteousness, because I just am not very good at this… I struggle to much. Yet at the end of the day… I am still waiting, so why not wait in His arms.
There has been a theme the Lord has used in my life and that comes straight from the verse, Eph 3:20 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”. From my salvation experience to my upbringing, the people the lord has placed in my life, my journey has
not been anything I ever dreamed or imagined but only better. I was that girl that graduated high school that desired three things: to get married, have kids, and honor God. I didn’t really care about college; I just wanted to be a wife and a mom. I wanted to travel and experience life, but all in the order in which I had planned. I
graduated high school in 1999 thinking I would be a teacher, marry a youth pastor and love the world, start having kids by 25 and so on. It is 2009, ten years later. The LORD has continued to show me his thoughts are not my thoughts and his ways are not my ways. I truly have been in awe struck of his plans verses mine.
I am sure he giggles at my attempts to still make plans, and yet has gifted me in being visionary and dreaming big. The Lord has blessed me with an adventurous and amazing journey, traveling to many foreign countries, watching the Lord change lives through missions and students and communities. I have been able to be on staff at a church,
visit a few of West ridge church plants and serve with them for parts of my summers, he has cultured me through missions and other traveling experiences and written the nations on my heart, I have been going to
school for what seems like an eternity, yet learning that even those classes have brought about divine appointments that only God could orchestrate. I have learned what leadership looks like at some of the most extensive parts, working for youthworks last summer. I have gone through a lot of valleys and hiked a lot of mountains and I have been knocked off of my feet in Awe of God’s constant mercy and hand in my life at the top of the mountain. I love that the Lord directs our steps, allows us to jump blindly into his plan, and that he is there in every step waiting patiently to choose him. Years ago the Lord revealed a few things to me, that he reminds me of often:
1)He has not called me to just one ministry, but to HIM. So although he may have gifted me in specific areas and may use me in them for seasons or for a long period. I was called to HIM.
2)My home is not Georgia, as much I love it, and the sweet comfort it provides through family, friends and familiarity. My home is heaven & with him. So therefore my longing should be for that and in Him. I say that because I believe the Lord has echoed in my life, that calling to follow Him wherever that may be, Georgia, Austin, NJ, Utah,
Cuba, Jamaica, Israel, Africa, … South Carolina. His word commands us to GO, to be a light and bring salvations to the ends of the earth. It was not a mere suggestion that he made but a commandment in which he has engraved in my heart.
3)My purpose is for this and this alone: TO GLORIFY HIM. That is not at all what American success looks like, and sometimes that is the hardest challenge to face, yet the biggest desire of my heart. Isaiah 46:4 says, “I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.”
So my sweet friends, I say all of this to say that the stirring in my heart doesn’t surprise me, and yet I know I have only one thing to do.
Choose Him. I was reading something just today that said “To choose well is to make a decision for the right reason; why we choose something is as important as what we choose.”
“A heart set on a pilgrimage is poised between what is and what God has yet to bring about after the next turn. It speaks purpose and joy in each part of that journey”
I was thinking about some of the choices the Lord led me to that didn’t make a lot of since, and yet molded who I am today, or brought someone in my path that I am forever grateful for and never the same since. I have been praying off and on about joining this team that is
planting this church in Charleston forever now, and just waiting to make a decision because it seemed so far away. Not knowing where the LORD was going to lead me. He has opened and closed many doors since I started praying and the door to Charleston is there in front of me.
When I went to visit Charleston in October, I loved the people and the city. It was great talking about the demographics, who the people are, and what the history is there. I just kept saying to the LORD, if you want me here, I am here. Away from my beloved Georgia and Family. I am committed to you, I am called to you, and I want to follow you. The whole world needs Jesus. So my arms are open. For months the Lord has brought Charleston to my mind in the quietness, when I take time to sit before his throne and be silent, and yet I like always take so much time going through the what if’s and questions that I listen to him little, and ask much. It has been about two years of this question of Charleston? The Lord brought something to my mind this week, being the visual learner I am. A few summers ago I was in Florida with my family and decided to bungee jump, something I always wanted to do. My family watched me as I got secured, and started walking way up high to the top. They were all at the bottom; one of my nieces was crying she didn’t want me to jump. I remember the feeling of looking out at the ocean in front of me, and I knew I had to jump. It was my only option, the guy was telling me to jump and yet it didn’t seem logical or natural. My body didn’t want to do it, and in that moment I just took that step and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, in which I would totally do again and never regret.
So all of this to say with peace and excitement , that my moments with Jesus and the carpet have brought me to the conclusion to the calling he has placed on my life to trust him, and share him with the world.
And for such a time as this… CHARLESTON.
www.riverchurch.com
leave for Jamaica this upcoming Friday (4th) with our high school student ministry team. I can’t wait! It has been such a long time (2004) and I didn’t know when I would return, and to be honest I didn’t expect to so soon. God has a funny way of doing things. I have had moments of bitter sweetness because of my love for CUBA, so pray I do not compare the people or the Island. God has done great things in both places in my life. I just have formed a love for the Cuban people that I can’t explain. Yet Jamaica is the first place I ever went to on a missions trip.
For those of you who feel out of touch, I am doing well. Working and School are coming along. I am working this summer for an organization called youthworks. They have a website. I have been hired as a site director and me and my staff will run missions trips at our specific location that I do not know yet. We will have a new student/adult team each week. I will update you more before I leave. Currently I am doing this great bible study called, Stepping Up by Beth Moore. And well it has just been kicking my rear. Not to mention God has just been pouring his love out on me. He has done great things….
So I have a few specific prayer requests for Jamaica:
* Strong Unity, amongst are team and the Jamaicans
* That God is Glorified through our team.
* Divine Appointments
* Safety, Protection
* Our families back home
* Spiritual Warfare, praying that we are quick to respond by prayer and always on guard.
* That God would do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine
* That our travel groups would bond, and our encouragement teams would bless
* Our Staff and Leaders, wisdom and Spirit lead leadership
* Salvation for any unbelievers we come in contact with!
* The Collins Family, (Daddy Passed away Wednesday, he is a pastor, and him and his wife have hosted many of our teams, I stayed with them the last time I was in Jamaica. We have worked a lot with this family)
~ And whatever else the spirit leads!
You guys are dear to my heart… THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! May you find no sweeter thing that satisfies you than Christ Himself!
Thanks so much for praying, I can’t wait to share stories and pictures when I return!
A few years ago, I had guitar lessons. Well because of my schedule and lack of time I didn’t learn much. But I got to know the Chandlers really well, so it was worth that. So I have been spending the last few days trying to pick it back up and learn, My dad is trying to help me. Well I don’t know if that is the right word, but I did remember the chords I use to know. I am learning a few more, and my fingers are starting to sting. So all of that is a good sign. I just have to keep it up… and hopefully I can one day play an actual song or two. I love the guitar, and I love music. I wish I would have taken lessons as a kid. My dad is super talented, and so is my brother. I hope that somehow I have a 10% of their talent. We will see it is all for HIM, not for me. It is good to be stretched …. I will keep you updated.
Great City. Great Visit. Fun weekend.I love catching up with old friends, and I love laughing with them. If Brady Davis becomes famous, and picks a band name from my inspiriation, well I better get some credit for that. Apples to Apples is a great game, as well as name that tune! I love meeting new people that make me laugh, and that have beautiful eyes. I am not however fond of boys who are adults and act as if they are in middle-school, a little well ridiculous.
